12 Habits That Set Ultra Successful People Apart -Travis Bradberry

Ultra successful people delight themselves by blowing their personal goals out of the water. They succeed along many different dimensions of life—their friendships, their physical and mental health, their families, and their jobs (which they are not only good at but also enjoy).

Talentsmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that ultra successful people have a lot in common. In particular, 90% of them are skilled at managing their emotions in order to stay focused, calm, and productive.

These super successful folks have high emotional intelligence (EQ), a quality that’s critical to achieving your dreams.

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that ultra successful people employ to reach their goals, what follows are twelve of the best. Some of these may seem obvious, but the real challenge lies in recognizing when you need to use them and having the wherewithal to actually do so.

  1. They’re Composed

Ultra successful people are composed because they constantly monitor their emotions, they understand them, and they use this knowledge in the moment to react to challenging situations with self-control. When things go downhill, they are persistently calm and frustratingly content (frustrating to those who aren’t, at least). They know that no matter how good or bad things get, everything changes with time. All they can do is adapt and adjust to stay happy and in control.

  1. They’re Knowledgeable

Super successful people know more than others do because they’re constantly working to increase their self-awareness. They vow constant growth. Whenever they have a spare moment, they fill it with self-education. They don’t do this because it’s “the right thing to do”; they do it because it’s their passion. They’re always looking for opportunities to improve and new things to learn about themselves and the world around them. Instead of succumbing to their fear of looking stupid, truly exceptional people just ask the questions on their mind, because they would rather learn something new than appear smart.

  1. They’re Deliberate

Ultra successful people reach decisions by thinking things out, seeking advice from others, and sleeping on it. They know that (as studies show) impulsively relying too much on gut-instinct is ineffective and misleading. Being able to slow down and logically think things through makes all the difference.

  1. They Speak with Certainty

It’s rare to hear super successful people utter things like “Um,” “I’m not sure,” and “I think.” Successful people speak assertively because they know that it’s difficult to get people to listen to you if you can’t deliver your ideas with conviction.

  1. They Use Positive Body Language

Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) draws people to you like ants to a picnic. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that super successful people use to draw others in. Positive body language makes all the difference in a conversation because how you say something can be more important than what you say.

  1. They Leave a Strong First Impression

Research shows that most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. This may sound terrifying, but by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in how people respond to you. First impressions are tied intimately to positive body language. A strong posture, a firm handshake, a smile, and open shoulders help ensure that your first impression is a good one.

  1. They Seek Out Small Victories

Successful people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield only small victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases their confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you achieve a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.

  1. They’re Fearless

Fear is nothing more than a lingering emotion that’s fueled by your imagination. Danger is real. It’s the uncomfortable rush of adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice. Exceptional people know this better than anyone does, so they flip fear on its head. Instead of letting fear take over, they are addicted to the euphoric feeling they get from conquering their fears.

  1. They’re Graceful

Graceful people are the perfect combination of strong and gentle. They don’t resort to intimidation, anger, or manipulation to get a point across because their gentle, self-assured nature gets the job done. The word gentle often carries a negative connotation (especially in the workplace), but in reality, it’s the gentleness of being graceful that gives ultra successful people their power. They’re approachable, likeable, and easy to get along with—all qualities that make people highly amenable to their ideas.

  1. They’re Honest

Super successful people trust that honesty and integrity, though painful at times, always work out for the best in the long run. They know that honesty allows for genuine connections with people in a way that dishonesty can’t and that lying always comes back to bite you in the end. In fact, a Notre Dame study showed that people who often lied experienced more mental health problems than their more honest counterparts.

  1. They’re Grateful

Ultra successful people know that it took a lot of ambition, passion, and hard work to get where they are in life. They also know that their mentors, colleagues, families, and friends all played a huge role in their success. Instead of basking in the glory of achievement, super successful people recognize others for the wonderful things they’ve done for them.

  1. They’re Appreciative

Truly exceptional people are able to achieve so much because they know the importance of slowing down and appreciating everything they already have. They know that a huge amount of their positivity, grit, and motivation comes from their ability to stay grounded and appreciate the opportunities that life has given them thus far.

Bringing It All Together

These habits can make any of us more successful if we use them every day. Give them a try and see where they take you.

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Five Things Only Weak Managers Say

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We used to think that a strong manager was someone who could speak firmly, but we’ve evolved. Now we see that any idiot can raise his voice and sound commanding. That doesn’t make you a leader!
Real leaders are people who don’t bring the hammer down, because the hammer is only given to them by virtue of their title, which was conferred on them by somebody else. The hammer — the power to punish or withhold good things –  is the instrument of fear and control.
Strong leaders trust themselves enough to trust the people they’ve hired. They lead by example. They don’t lead through fear, by making their employees afraid to cross them.
Here are five things only weak managers say. If you’ve heard any of these weakling pronouncements coming out of the lips of your manager, that’s a sign!
It’s a sign that you’re wasting your talents working under Mr. or Ms. Fearful. Time to pack up your bag of tricks and take it where it’ll be appreciated!
 
I Don’t Care How You Do It – Just Get It Done!
This is what weenie weakling managers say when they get stressed out. It’s the ultimate “Screw you!” to a team member, because it says “I won’t help you — I’m busy. Figure it out yourself!”
That’s not leadership. The implied threat in “Just get it done!” is that if you don’t get it done, you’ll get fired or lose brownie points on the job.
You don’t have time to work for anyone who talks to people like this. It sounds like a line from a bad movie. Leave this turkey manager behind you and find a manager with blood running through his or her veins — not zombie juice!
I Don’t Make the Rules – I Just Enforce Them
Let’s break this down logically. You’re the manager, but you don’t make the rules? Okay, then why are you a manager? There are policies that come down from higher up and you’re forced to follow them – really? You don’t have a tongue, teeth and vocal cords to speak up about things that matter?
Every manager’s job is to speak up and tell the truth to higher-ups, whether they want to hear it it or not. If you’re just a rubber stamp on somebody else’s rules and policies, then give back the “manager” title and call yourself something else (“sycophant” or “doormat” spring to mind).
 
I Don’t Pay You to Think
“I don’t  pay you to think” is code for “Don’t tell me your ideas, because I get easily threatened, and when someone says something smart that I didn’t think of on my own, I feel bad about myself.”
We can feel sympathy for a manager who’s mired in fear, but get out from under him or her first – then you can feel sympathy from a safe distance!
 
That’s Your Personal Problem, Not Mine
What is leadership? It means that people want to follow you. They trust your judgment and guidance.
When you tell people outright “I couldn’t care less about your personal priorities” you’ve told them all they need to know about your relationship. They are nothing to you — so why should they lift a finger to help you reach your goals?
 
If You Don’t Want the Job, I’ll Find Someone Who Does
This is the sound of fear in action! Fear is entangled in this obnoxious threat in two ways.
For starters, the weakling manager who threatens your job this way is trying to make you afraid with his or her puny power to punish you. Don’t be afraid of anyone pathetic enough to invoke this tired threat. They have no personal juice.
You might decide to clamp  your lips together and walk away from a manager who threatens you, but no one would blame you if you said “Really? You’ll find someone else for my job? That’s odd — if I’m not the right person for the job, why am I still here?”
The second way fear shows up in this time-honored weak-manager threat is that the manager who says these words is showing you that he or she is afraid. What are they afraid of? They’re afraid to be real — to show their human side.
The only time weenie managers throw out this threat is when an employee has expressed frustration or dissatisfaction with the way the department is run.
The manager’s angry threat is his or her way of saying “I’m doing the best I can, okay? I’m not sure how to do my job.” They can’t be that honest — they are afraid to show any vulnerability — so they lash out with a threat instead.
Life is long, but it’s still too short to waste another year in a job that doesn’t grow your flame. Maybe this is the moment for you to plan your next adventure!
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